don't know who would hear my heart voice

Oh my! it's been along long time ago ya, gw ga ngeblog.. fuih, at this time, i feel i have to bloggin.. because as i write on the top, i don't know "siapa lagi" would hear my d*mn heart voice.. *sigh
gw ngerasa bulan maret ini beraaaat banget.. pertama kalinya gw ultah "semu" banget *pinjem kata2nya dia*.. tau knapa? ini semua karena PJ.. yaa, dia yang ku cinta..
gw jujur masih sayaaang banget sama si inisial PJ ini..dan entah kenapa, suatu malam di bulan maret, em, subuh tepatnya kita smsan dan, dia ngajak balikan..
it's kind a feeling earth changed into heaven, you know?! he asked me to make a relationship (again), after he broke it up last time. dan seketika itu gw ngerasa "this's is my march" dan, yeah, kita jalanin hari2 kita dengan LDR yang bahagia.. tanpa ada berantem2.. Gw ngerasa dy bener2 menepati janjinya, dia berubah jadi lebih baik dari sebelumnya..
Tapi entah setan mana yang merasuki hatinya, dipertengahan maret, dia mlh pengen kita putus.. dan kali ini hati gw bener2 hancur.. 2x disakitin sama dia..
yeah i know, i'm the stupid one. maaaany ppl said it to me. but love always do the stupid things, right? that's why they called "love is blind" ..
and the stupid-est one is his argument about our LDR.. d*mn! he knows already, we are separately loooong distance.. between jakarta and bali.. which is soooo far awaaaaaaay..
HE KNEW IT ALREADY.
ah, bener2 ga ngerti sama cowo yg satu ini..
yang jelas, dia bener2 sudah mengobrak-abrik hati gueee..
What a lovely march, isn't? :'(
i have no boyfriend on my birthday, and my heart is half already.. oh myy!
Dan tiap gw curhat sama orang2 disekeliling gw, mereka pasti nyalahin gw..
Kenapa lo jatuh dilubang yang sama, kenapa lo percaya sama dia, kenapa lo tetep sayang sama dia..
pertanyaan itu slalu dipertanyakan sama temen2 gw.. oh, shit! sampe sekarangun jawaban gw tetep sama..
karena gw sayang sama diaaaa.. and i trully hated my feelings..
Sampe detik ini gw pun masih sayang sama dia, even nyakitin banget rasanyaaa..
BRB, i have to finish it anyway.. gw lagi dikantor dan, bos2pun sudah datang, mari bekerjaaaa..
i'll continuing these story if possible.. and yeah, if i ready with this pain..

Semoga akan kudapati hati yg tulus mencintaiku, someday..

xoxo,
chieliciouz

no other that i can say, except confused.

Oh, i hate yesterday..

someone i known as my partner in my office called me last night..

i'm going to sleep on that time, but suddently i shocked when i heard what he said..

he only said "Chie, we changed the scenario.. you have to 'out' first, then i'll out afterwards"

oh nooo!! i'm not ready yet! that's really make me confused..

i have to moved out from my current office which i've stayed almost 3 years?!?!?!?!?!

not easy, and i do scared, what will happened in my new office, *uh well, i'm going stressful now, because i'm not telling you yet the old scenario*

Well, i have ex bos, which already resigned from my office, and he make a new office, also a travel agency..And now he asked me to joined with him..

That's why i am so confused..really hard to decide it..

And tonight is the final conclusion, i'll meet up with my ex bos and discuss about my desk job, my salary, etc..

Oh GOD, i really need YOU to guide me into the right way, please...

if i were SOKO

Lately i wondering, i haven't cannot sleep in my best time ( at 10 pm or last 11pm ).. Even i came in my bedroom at 10pm, but what i did is listening my 'old playlist' in my 'old mobilephone' ( i need new mobile phoneee!! BB or iphone, please God #cryingout #likealittlebaby )

And the one of my favourite song's is SOKO with title I'LL KILL HER..

Watchout the video, guys!!

and here is the lyric :

So, of course, you are supposed to come tonight.
You are supposed to come tonight.
We'll have gone to the cinema
and after to this restaurant, the one you like in your street.
We'll have slept together,
have a night breakfast together.
And walking about together.
How beautiful is that!
You would have said 'i love you' in the cutest place on earth where some lullabies are dancing with the fairies.
I would have waited like a week or two but you never tried to reach me, no, you never call me back.

[2 sentences]

So, if I find, I swear,I swear,

CHORUS
I'll kill her, I'll kill her.
She stole my future,
She broke my dream,
I'll kill her, I'll kill her.
She stole my future
When she took you away

I would have met your friends
We would have drunk like a drink or two.
They would have lied to me,
'Cause sometimes I'm funny!
I would have met your dad,
I would have met your mum.
She would have said 'please, can you make some beautiful babies?'
So we would have had a boy called Tom, and a girl called Suzanne
..born in Japan !

I thought it was a love story,
But you don't want to get involved.
I thought it was a love story,
But you're not ready for that.
Me neither,

CHORUS

She's a bitch, you know
She's got her blondless
No need a tenderness
She's cleverless.

I would have waited like a week or two but you never tried to reach me, no, you never call me back.

CHORUS

Well, actually i didn't mean anything about this lyric, but i just like the music, so easy listening rite? just like you crabbing bout your life.. i'll try it someday..put in youtube and wishing any some producers will interested with me, and ask me to join with him.. hahaha

And now, i feel like i want to kill someone! rrraawwwrr!

Regards before i kill you,

@chieliciouz

Think and thought

Its been long time i am not write in my blog..

And now i just have a random quote from my little 'genius' brain, and i wont it miss.. so i have to write it in my blog :D

GOD make it by HIS own way.. even HE doesn't juggled this thursday become friday..but, STILL, HE make a lil miracle for me :) 
*at least that's quote what i've made and published in my twitter

You know why i write these quote? it just because my God, already make a miracle for me..

It happened today, while  my schedule to my office to Ubud.. I really wished not to goes to Ubud ( then i asked GOD to juggled thursday become friday which is kind of impossible thing ), because i feel so bored there.. nothing to do, except tweeting, facebook-ing kind like that, not my prior job..

And then God answers my pray..my director said we're will not going to Ubud as long as we have many jobs to do.. yeay!

Even just A LITTLE MIRACLE, but in RIGHT TIME, i felt it so wonderful, don't you?

i wish u will always have a miracle then!

xoxo

@chieliciouz

my 20*11 resolution

Awww, it's 2011! Usually, every year, i make my resolutions wish in my binder..

until now i still did it.. i already made in my binder, but now i also have a blog..

i think it is necessary to post even publish in my blog :) 

want to know, are you? please read it carefully..

1. I wish i can rebuild my relationship with Papa J..

My the one and only savior! I wish i could Breath by Pray, Eat by Words of God, 

Walk by Faith, and Live by Grace and Mercy..

I also wish i can be the singers in my church ( servant of God )

2. I really, trully, madly, deeply want camera CANON EOS 1000D or 450D

*God, please read my blog, then grant it!

Well, i really interested with photography actually.. i love to be a model,

but i also wanting to be a photographer..

 

*i can only provide the internet pict :((

3.After i get my DSLR, i will use it for taking a lots of picture in my journey of life..

Sure, it related with my 3rd wish.. i wish i could go for holiday around Indonesia ( at first )..

I want go to LOMBOK, JOGJAKARTA, BANDUNG, MAKASSAR, JAKARTA and maybe BELITUNG..

Pantai kuta-Lombok

4.I wish i could get my soulmate, my partner in my rest of life..

The BEST ONE from GOD..

I really wanting early marriage..haha!

5. i want to get slimmer!!! now my weight is 47kgs..

and i have a target to reach weight (at least) 40kgs..

i have to diet!!! i have to consume a lot of mineral water!!! and i have to get exercise..

aw, why so difficult??

6. SAVING!!! i have to saving my money from my salary around 100-200K/month.

no matter how it can be..i wish someday i can give it to my parents..

7. I wish i have another gadgets.. i wish i have blackberry, ipod 

and flash disk *hey, i don't have a flash disk yet!!!

8. I wanna take some lesson.. like driving, playing guitar..and have a lecture..

yeah, LECTURE! :-s

9. I have to liquidate my credit motorcycle, this year!

10. I wish i could try the new JOB, find new experience..

i am feeling bored with my job now..

11. Try to be a more mature person 

I think 11-resolution is not too much neither few, but still, needs a lot of spirit, 

much of praying, and many things to do to complete the resolution..

What's yours? i am sure you are also have many resolution.. 

Let's start with pray, doing by effort and ending by giving thanks to GOD and to ppl around you!

xoxo,

@chieliciouz